Bullett_Bret
Well-Known Member
Heres one of my favorites....
A guy is lost in the deepest darkest part of the Amazon jungle when after hours of going around in cycles he stumbles upon a bright clearing and in the center of the clearing is an old ramshackle old hut.
As he approaches the hut he notices that it is adorned with skulls & shrunken heads and bones of every shape & size are scattered about. However it seems not to have been occupied recently – so curiosity getting the best of him he pulls open the animal hides covering the doorway and enters.
Despite the fact that it is dimly light he can make out shelves with bottles & bottles of every shape & size. As he’s reaching out to pick up one of the larger jars he hears a voice…
“I hope you’re buyin’ something – I hate window shoppers”
The weary man – now startled spins around on his heals almost knocking the large olive drab jar over. Catching the jar before it tips over he sees grizzled old Witch doctor sitting in the corner that he swears wasn’t there when he came in.
The witch doctor (sounding annoyed) said that would’ve cost you $50 if you’d of broken that jar.
For this old jar? (the traveler says) Why, what’s in it?
"Why them’s Army Brains!" The witch doctor says.
Army brains?
Yes indeed.
Examining the Large jar he sees that it is all rotted and festering goo inside – “Well Fifty dollars seems like a lot for something nasty”.
“Well you needs to buy something” the witch doctor said sternly “otherwise I’ll have your head hanging on the outside of my hut before night fall.”
Sensing the sincerity of the good doctor the traveler decides it’s best to buy something and be on his way before his mood changes.
“Well $50 sounds like a lot for old rotting Army Brains” looking around “what about this smaller dark blue jar how much for this?”
“Well now them’s NAVY brains” now smiling “I can give them too you for $10”
“What you want $100 for NAVY brains? It’s a smaller jar and they don’t look any better than the Army brains.“
Looking around he sees another even smaller silver jar – “what about this one?”
“Good eye sir” the now smiling witchdoctor says – “Those are Air Force Brains I’ll let you have that for $500”
“What!” Startled “The Air Force jar is even smaller than the Navy jar!”
Seeing that the good doctor was now sharpening a long knife & it was plain to see he was once again losing his patience with the traveler – so he quickly resumed looking among the shelves for something anything to buy so he could get out of there alive.
Just then he looked over in the corner and saw a tiny little red jar almost hidden in the corner. Lifting it up and showing the witch doctor – “ok what about this one?”
“Excellent choice sir” the doctor said now smiling from ear to ear. “but even though it is one of my most prized positions I can’t let you have that for less than $1000”
Exasperated the traveler asks “Ok I don’t get it? Whats in this tiny little jar that could ever cost so much?”
“Why Marine brains of course!” sounding annoyed again.
"But I don’t get it?" (shaking his head) "Its half the size of the Air Force jar, a third the size of the Navy jar and a fraction of the size of the Army brains jar. Why so much?"
The doctor grinned widely and said…
“Do you have any idea how many Marines I had to kill to fill that jar?...” :rofl:
Semper Fi!
A guy is lost in the deepest darkest part of the Amazon jungle when after hours of going around in cycles he stumbles upon a bright clearing and in the center of the clearing is an old ramshackle old hut.
As he approaches the hut he notices that it is adorned with skulls & shrunken heads and bones of every shape & size are scattered about. However it seems not to have been occupied recently – so curiosity getting the best of him he pulls open the animal hides covering the doorway and enters.
Despite the fact that it is dimly light he can make out shelves with bottles & bottles of every shape & size. As he’s reaching out to pick up one of the larger jars he hears a voice…
“I hope you’re buyin’ something – I hate window shoppers”
The weary man – now startled spins around on his heals almost knocking the large olive drab jar over. Catching the jar before it tips over he sees grizzled old Witch doctor sitting in the corner that he swears wasn’t there when he came in.
The witch doctor (sounding annoyed) said that would’ve cost you $50 if you’d of broken that jar.
For this old jar? (the traveler says) Why, what’s in it?
"Why them’s Army Brains!" The witch doctor says.
Army brains?
Yes indeed.
Examining the Large jar he sees that it is all rotted and festering goo inside – “Well Fifty dollars seems like a lot for something nasty”.
“Well you needs to buy something” the witch doctor said sternly “otherwise I’ll have your head hanging on the outside of my hut before night fall.”
Sensing the sincerity of the good doctor the traveler decides it’s best to buy something and be on his way before his mood changes.
“Well $50 sounds like a lot for old rotting Army Brains” looking around “what about this smaller dark blue jar how much for this?”
“Well now them’s NAVY brains” now smiling “I can give them too you for $10”
“What you want $100 for NAVY brains? It’s a smaller jar and they don’t look any better than the Army brains.“
Looking around he sees another even smaller silver jar – “what about this one?”
“Good eye sir” the now smiling witchdoctor says – “Those are Air Force Brains I’ll let you have that for $500”
“What!” Startled “The Air Force jar is even smaller than the Navy jar!”
Seeing that the good doctor was now sharpening a long knife & it was plain to see he was once again losing his patience with the traveler – so he quickly resumed looking among the shelves for something anything to buy so he could get out of there alive.
Just then he looked over in the corner and saw a tiny little red jar almost hidden in the corner. Lifting it up and showing the witch doctor – “ok what about this one?”
“Excellent choice sir” the doctor said now smiling from ear to ear. “but even though it is one of my most prized positions I can’t let you have that for less than $1000”
Exasperated the traveler asks “Ok I don’t get it? Whats in this tiny little jar that could ever cost so much?”
“Why Marine brains of course!” sounding annoyed again.
"But I don’t get it?" (shaking his head) "Its half the size of the Air Force jar, a third the size of the Navy jar and a fraction of the size of the Army brains jar. Why so much?"
The doctor grinned widely and said…
“Do you have any idea how many Marines I had to kill to fill that jar?...” :rofl:
Semper Fi!