Iran Offers Obama Advice After Air Force One Scare

[StarAngel]

by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

(2009-04-29) — In the wake of Monday’s panic-inducing Air Force One photo opportunity over Lower Manhattan, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sent a diplomatic message to President Barack Obama with advice on how to avoid such incidents in the future.

“Mr. President, the next time you need a photo of your plane near some major metropolitan area,” Mr. Ahmadinejad said, “there’s a way to do it without evoking the nightmare of 9/11 in the streets of New York City — it’s called Photoshop.”

“This is the same amazing software that has allowed Iran to multiply its defensive missile capabilities at a fraction of the cost of manufacturing and launching multiple weapons,” the Iranian leader said. “You can just take a picture of Air Force One in the sky anywhere, and another of the Statue of so-called ‘Liberty’, and Photoshop makes them as one. No one can tell. If you wish, you could have seven Air Force Ones flying in formation, strafing the infidels on Wall Street.”

Mr. Ahmadinejad added, “I would even invite you, Mr. President Obama, to personally fly your plane through the clear blue skies near Tehran where our agents on the ground could shoot it for you — the photograph that is.”

 

[GT400SC]

LOL, good one!

 

[VP_07SRT8]

is this a joke?

 

[StarAngel]

Oh yea but its a good one and there are ALOT more by Scott Ott on ScrappleFace

http://www.scrappleface.com/

 

[StarAngel]

Specter Switches Religions to Boost Seniority
by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

(2009-05-06) — Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter, who last week became a Democrat to boost his odds of winning re-election, again shocked the political world when he announced today that he had switched from Judaism to Christianity in hopes of regaining the seniority which the senate stripped from him Tuesday.

The latest switch comes just a day after the senator expressed hope that Republican Norm Coleman of Minnesota would win his lingering recount battle against Democrat Al Franken to ensure that the senate would still include a Jewish Republican.

Sen. Specter later retracted the remark, saying he would “never want to be perceived as a traitor to my own party like that.”

Despite previous promises from Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid that he would retain his seniority on key committees, yesterday the senate voted to bump Sen. Specter to junior status on four out of five committees.

“Now that I’m last in line,” Sen. Specter said, “I find the words of Jesus the Messiah very encouraging when he says ’some are last who will be first’. When I read that in the gospel of Luke this morning, I felt like the Lord was speaking directly to me. So when Jesus said, ‘come unto me, Arlen‘, I said, ‘Here I am, Lord’.”

 

[Tommy]

Someone sent this to me via email.............


Three New Navy Ships




USS REAGAN


Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!





When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4..5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.


Capability


Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors


that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling


1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going

150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size

1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity

1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

&n bsp;2.. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily;

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh

water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation

8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for

underway operations (Sailor's salaries included).

USS BILL CLINTON

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail

today from its home port of Vancouver , BC ..



The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.

It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tom cat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

USS BARACK OBAMA



Don't ask

 

[VP_07SRT8]

funny

 

[StarAngel]

lmao that was great!!!!!

 

[kakarote]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha !:roflroflroflroflrofl:
Damn it man!:lol:

 

[xromad]

i wonder if he has riden in the alien spacecraft with his illuminati buddies yet.i would make them all wear star trek uniforms and beam them down to heckle ron paul supporters.