sdsubzero4
Spring Valley, CA
For all you "wordsmiths" out there...
>
> A little humor during these trying times!
>
> Subject: Washington Post "Mensa Invitational"
>
>
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take
> any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
> one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> Here are the 2009 winners:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
> financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
> realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
> ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
> of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
> getting laid.
>
> 7.. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
>
> 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
> who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
>
> 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
> bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
> serious bummer.
>
> 12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
> consuming only things that are good for you.
>
> 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
>
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
> come at you rapidly.
>
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
> accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
> bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
> fruit you're eating.
>
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
> common words. And the winners are:
>
> 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
> gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
> nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
> run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
> onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
> men.
>
> A little humor during these trying times!
>
> Subject: Washington Post "Mensa Invitational"
>
>
> The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take
> any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
> one letter, and supply a new definition.
>
> Here are the 2009 winners:
>
> 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
> financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
>
> 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>
> 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
> realize it was your money to start with.
>
> 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
>
> 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
> ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
> of breaking down in the near future.
>
> 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
> getting laid.
>
> 7.. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
>
> 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
> who doesn't get it.
>
> 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
>
> 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
>
> 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
> bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
> serious bummer.
>
> 12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day
> consuming only things that are good for you.
>
> 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
>
> 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
> come at you rapidly.
>
> 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
> accidentally walked through a spider web.
>
> 16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
> bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>
> 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the
> fruit you're eating.
>
>
> The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its
> yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
> common words. And the winners are:
>
> 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
>
> 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has
> gained.
>
> 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
> 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
>
> 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
>
> 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a
> nightgown.
>
> 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
>
> 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
>
> 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been
> run over by a steamroller.
>
> 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
>
> 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
>
> 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
>
> 13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
>
> 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
>
> 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
> onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>
> 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
> men.
