I swiped this from another site.......Substitute SAILOR or SOLDIER, or AIRMAN and it fits pretty much all services. I left it MARINE for you BeeJay......
Enjoy.
Gib
1. I'm a Marine, I have a problem. This is the first step to Recovery.
2. SPEECH:
- Time should NEVER begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400, it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).
- Words like deck, rack and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work out, get used to it.
- "****" cannot be used to replace whatever word you cannot think of right now, try "um".
- Grunting is not talking.
- It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out"
- People will not know what you are talking about if you tel! l them you are coming from Camp LeJeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC 3.
3. STYLE:
- Do not put creases in your jeans.
- Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
- A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
- A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
- So does a low reg, but not as bad.
- A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.
- You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.
4. WOMEN:
- Air Force girls are easy, very easy. Not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.
- Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6-month Marriages, even if it is your first.
- Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense" - it makes you a RETARD.
5. PERSONAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
- In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.
- Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
- How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
- The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.
6. DRINKING:
- In the real world, being drunk before 5 PM will get you an intervention, not a 'good for you'.
- That time you drank a 5th of Jaegermeister and peed in your closet is not a conversation starter.
- That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter.
7. BODILY FUNCTIONS:
- Edited
8. SPENDING HABITS:
- One day, you will have to pay bills.
- Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 salary is a really stupid idea.
- Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
- One day you will need health insurance.
9. INTERACTING WITH CIVILIANS:
- Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.
10. REAL JOBS:
- They really can fire you.
- On the flip side, you really can quit.
- Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.
- Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
- Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1800
11. THE LAW:
- Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.
- Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested.
- Even McDonald's does background checks, and 'conviction' isn't going to help you get the job.
- Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at on Monday Morning before they ask you if you won.
12. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
- You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.
- Pain is not weakness leaving the body, IT'S JUST PAIN.
- They won't wear anything SHINY that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.
- READ THE CONTRACTS BEFORE YOU SIGN THEM, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME!!!!
Enjoy.
Gib
1. I'm a Marine, I have a problem. This is the first step to Recovery.
2. SPEECH:
- Time should NEVER begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400, it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early).
- Words like deck, rack and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, work out, get used to it.
- "****" cannot be used to replace whatever word you cannot think of right now, try "um".
- Grunting is not talking.
- It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not end in "out"
- People will not know what you are talking about if you tel! l them you are coming from Camp LeJeune with the MWSS platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC 3.
3. STYLE:
- Do not put creases in your jeans.
- Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.
- A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.
- A high and tight looks really dumb as well.
- So does a low reg, but not as bad.
- A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.
- You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.
4. WOMEN:
- Air Force girls are easy, very easy. Not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.
- Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6-month Marriages, even if it is your first.
- Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense" - it makes you a RETARD.
5. PERSONAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
- In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.
- Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.
- How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.
- The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.
6. DRINKING:
- In the real world, being drunk before 5 PM will get you an intervention, not a 'good for you'.
- That time you drank a 5th of Jaegermeister and peed in your closet is not a conversation starter.
- That time you went to the combat medic school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter.
7. BODILY FUNCTIONS:
- Edited
8. SPENDING HABITS:
- One day, you will have to pay bills.
- Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 salary is a really stupid idea.
- Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.
- One day you will need health insurance.
9. INTERACTING WITH CIVILIANS:
- Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.
10. REAL JOBS:
- They really can fire you.
- On the flip side, you really can quit.
- Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.
- Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.
- Remember 9-5 not 0530 to 1800
11. THE LAW:
- Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.
- Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested.
- Even McDonald's does background checks, and 'conviction' isn't going to help you get the job.
- Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at on Monday Morning before they ask you if you won.
12. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:
- You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public.
- Pain is not weakness leaving the body, IT'S JUST PAIN.
- They won't wear anything SHINY that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.
- READ THE CONTRACTS BEFORE YOU SIGN THEM, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME!!!!
