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5 Riddles... Can you figure them out?

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Bullitt5055

Well-Known Member
Young Guns, do you live near Poway? The reason I ask is b/c the only true blue Bullitt I've ever seen in San Diego was up near Poway...
 
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Young Guns

Well-Known Member
no, i had my bullitt repainted. thats the pic before it was painted. now its like a metallic goldish grey color. in my profile you can see the new color. i forget whats its called but it is a ford color. autumn something
 
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Young Guns

Well-Known Member
heres a joke, a guy wants to sleep with his secretary but she says no, so he says what if i give you 100 dollars?. still no. he says fine, how bout i drop 100 dollars on the ground and the time it takes you to pick it up is how long i get. she calls her boyfriend and explains it to him and he says call when she is done since it shouldnt take long enough to even give the boss a feel. 45 minutes later the boyfriend calls her and she answers all out ofbreath. he asks whats wrong and she says, the bastard dropped 100 dollars in quarters!
 
fearedswifey

fearedswifey

Well-Known Member
DAILY FUNNY

DIVORICE LETTER
Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife,
Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
 
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Young Guns

Well-Known Member
a man comes home with a duck under his arm and takes it to the kitchen where his wife is cooking dinner. he says this is the pig ive been screwing for the past 5 years. his wife says honey thats not a pig thats a duck, he replies with, i wasnt talking to you.
 
fearedswifey

fearedswifey

Well-Known Member
young guns said:
a man comes home with a duck under his arm and takes it to the kitchen where his wife is cooking dinner. He says this is the pig ive been screwing for the past 5 years. His wife says honey thats not a pig thats a duck, he replies with, i wasnt talking to you.
Click to expand...

eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
 
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Young Guns

Well-Known Member
a little boy asks his father, whats the difference between potentially and realisticly? his dad says, go ask your mom, sister and brother if they would sleep with brad pitt for a million dollars. then tell me what youcome up with. he asks his mom, would you sleep with brad pitt for a million dollars? she says, yeah, i could put you kids through great colleges with the money. he asks sister. and she says in a heart beat hes so dreamy. he asks his brother and he says hell yeah, you no what i could do to my car with that money? later, the dad asks him what he figured out, he says, potentially, you and i are sitting on 3 million dollars, realistically we live with two whores and a queer.
 
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Young Guns

Well-Known Member
Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a
farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey
the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but
I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Chuck replied,
'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said,
'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said,
'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked,
'What ya gonna do with him?

Chuck said,
'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said,
You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Chuck said,
'Sure I can Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened
with that dead donkey?'

Chuck said,
'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made
a profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said,
'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said,
'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

Chuck now works for the government.
 
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